Good day to you all, this rainy, beautiful Sunday.
This past week has been a tough one. A blow, a disappointment, a loss, and unexpected turn in the trail that I was following. The trail did not lead where I thought it was suppose to go, but ended in a deadend. Or I could put it another way, I was in the midst of a horserace, and found myself thrown off and unseated. The horse and I had to walk off the track with heads down. The disappointment arrived, and I was thrown for a momentarily "now what do I do". I could wallow, I could get angry, I could get defensive or I could allow God to teach me through this. The temptation is to justify oneself, and blame others, I don't want to do that nor can I justify doing that. I would rather...use this as an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to re-evaluate the path I was so earnestly pursuing. I was spending every weekend and a few nights a week towards this project. And suddenly, it's over...all the time and effort for naught or not. I had applied, sent in examples of my work, attained a tax id number, created a display stand, worked so hard, all the painting that I was doing was directed towards this juried art festival, and I received a letter, a standard letter saying bottom line, you've been rejected. Woe, that hurt. I didn't expect that. All the grinding work and all the painting towards this goal suddenly came to a slam stop. Now what? I hadn't prepared for this scenario. Now what? There's no deadline coming. There's no need to buy frames. There's no need to continue. Now what? It caught me off guard, and I was dehorsed and sitting there for a couple of days. Thinking, now what?
I had a painting on the easel incomplete, another one that also needed attention. Canvases ready to paint my layouts and start working on them. They glared at me. What are you going to do now? Now what?
I faced my shattered dream, swept it up and threw it away, and faced the unfinished painting, and started painting again, completed it. Had a good long talk with God, and started walking down that general trail once again. Can't quit, can't give up, I just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep painting, keep moving.
I think in terms of trails when I think of my life. Sometimes, you have someone walk with you along the trail who has been on that trail for a long time and is very encouraging, sometimes, you are all by yourself, and sometimes you pick the wrong trail and it deadends. Nothing else to do, but turn around retrace your steps and get back to the main trail. Here I am, back on the main trail again.
A few months ago, I started painting views of the trails located in Clifton Gorge, OH. One of my favorite places to hike. We are visiting Ohio this August, and I definitely want to revisit Clifton Gorge. I'm sure that was the motive for the paintings. The fond memories that I have of the terrain.
Below are the three paintings:
My weekend is almost over, Monday is fast approaching, and life continues. I am back on the trail, working on my paintings, cleaning the house, and soon making dinner. I am hopeful...tomorrow holds a better day, and as I continue to walk the trail, I'll find the right one for me. God bless you all.